Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)

Big old house, hidden basement, scary evil secret. I was roundly disappointed by this one. Nearly every horror movie cliche' shows up and there is a point fairly early in the movie where if the 'average' person couldn't realize something was horribly wrong they should be sterilized. I'm also starting to realize that Katie Holmes can't act for shit. I don't know what audience they were trying to reach with this one but for the serious horror fan this is a pretty thin sandwich. If you have seen Cat's Eye (1985) this views much like an expanded version of the 3rd story 'The General' with a little sauce on it to hide the similarities. You won't die if you decide to see this anyway, but much like going out to a French restaurant be prepared to hit a Burger King on the way home.

Drive (2011)

A part time wheel man finds himself in deep shit when a pawn shop robbery nets 10 million dollars and the ire of the local wise guy. This is a very easy watch.. no complex story elements or plot twists, no boring character development. Its almost like watching a John Hughes film without the brat pack. Very 80's tempo soundtrack and boy meets girl story that gets kicked over when a third returns to the scene. Things quickly head south from there and our hero must remain true to his macho urges despite what should have been long odds. There are a couple scenes of fairly realist and graphic violence with accompanying sound FX. WARNING: if you are squeamish one scene may send you running to the bathroom (if this is you when the guy with the mangled hands shows up in the Pizzaria go find something to do for about 2 minutes). Nice easy entertainment with a little white hat bad boy macho thrown in for flavor. Recommended.

Apollo 18 (2011)

The 'real' reason Apollo 18 was the last manned mission to the moon. Great premise, lackluster delivery. Shot in the now tiresome "I was there" self filming technique made famous by a Witch movie that will go unnamed, that is supposed to add to the 'realism', but not so much when you have 3rd person shots to show off your set. Coupled with the notion astronauts don't have a light source other than the flash on a camera (oO) so they can set up a 'gotcha' moment so telegraphed that when it landed the sheer not scariness of it makes you want to scream out of frustration, it just comes in light. There are other huge problems as well but lets move on to the other side of the coin. Everyone likes conspiracies and this one hands up a whopper dripping with all the 'powers that be' slime sauce you can stomach. They do borrow from Red Planet (2000) for the antagonist with just enough of the detail tweaked as so to be able to deny it in case of lawsuit (not the robot). Overall this plays like a good ScyFy production.. as far as seeing it on the big screen, maybe the bottom of a double header at the drive in (do they still have those?) Fish fingers too long under the light and a flat cola.

Colombiana (2011)

The little girl of a South American drug lord is the sole survivor of a hit order on her family and comes to America sworn to avenge them. Featuring the very hot Zoe Saldana in the title role [Star Trek (2009), Avatar (2009)] this femme fatale is unstoppable as the one woman killing machine named after a flower. Very cool action, slick twists in old themes and the obligatory glimpses of skin keep things fairly tight throughout.. I did catch my attention wandering in a few places, mostly during long monologues, but they are relatively few. I thought the ending was fantastic, definitely within character and pulling an appreciative laugh from me. If you enjoyed The Mechanic (2011) for more than Jason Stratham you should enjoy this one as well.

Stake Land (2010)

Its Vampires that over run the world with this one. The same basic set up as Zombieland (2009) with the first person narrative presentation and the make up 2 main characters.. but thats where it ends. I was pleasantly surprised by this one, the title and the first 5 minutes didn't have me expecting much. While there is some humor in this one, its not a comedy by any stretch. FX are about what you would expect from a movie not getting a million dollars worth of media hype. This was a well told story that was much darker than what we have come to expect from similar fare. While this may miss the mainstream, I could easily see a cult following. If you are tired of cute fluffy vegan vampires and long for the days of bloody nasty horrifying ones, this is your ticket. There are some very cool twists in this one, and I could see elements from 30 Days of Night (2007), 28 Weeks Later (2007), and any number of post apocalyptic movies where humans still prey on each other. For fans of the genre, very worth your time. Recommended.

Death and Cremation (2010)

One is a loner by choice, the other by his peers.. one is a serial killer, the other is about to make a friend. This is one fun dark twisty, definitely not to be viewed with a critical eye, but with a measure of insight and social commentary none-the-less. The bullied loner is chased out of the house and told to find a job.. the local neighborhood discount crematorium seems just the place. The gore is minimal, but there is some as well as brief clips of realistic violence. No need to watch half the movie to get the flavor, its well displayed in the first 10 minutes so if this isn't you, your evening isn't shot.. I know I'm a sick bastage so I laughed more than a few times with this one. My only complaint is how the ending came together, but it had to end somehow I guess. Definitely not family viewing unless your name is Addams.

Fright Night (2011)

Like the original the unlikely hero finds himself living next door to a sinister vampire who has found a way to blend in. Unlike the original everyone soon believes Charlie. This isn't a bad movie on its own, but as a horror movie it comes in a little light. Think of this more like a sanitary version of From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). Some of the dialogue is clever and action is sufficient to make things fairly watchable. There is no overt stupidity which is refreshing. Take it for what it is, another luke warm Hollyweird production. Make it a rental.

Red State (2011)

Three teens answer a sex ad and find themselves captured by the local cult. This one sets up like a slasher movie but quickly evolves into a much more mature and darker film. The buzz sets this as Kevin Smiths most 'mature' work yet, and I must admit the dark satire is well done and slathered on very thick in places with a couple very clever twists. A good crew of journeyman players on this one, most notably a rather sickly looking John Goodman (hope you are okay John cause we luv ya out here). If you aren't familiar with Kevin's politics (the Silent Bob look would be good for him) it may be a good idea to stay away from them before seeing this movie (otherwise there are portions that come across as cheap and petty). No doubt about it this is a film worth seeing if you are a fan of dark satire, top shelf effort by Mr. Smith.

Bad Teacher (2011)

A gold digging tramp has her meal ticket dry up and is stuck as a public school teacher. Pretty funny in places and moves at a good pace- it follows the 'comedy movie formula' where the lead learns a 'lesson' at the end most the rest of us already know. Writing is good and all the players deliver well. Sort of a Bad Santa (2003) light, so if you enjoyed that chances are good you will enjoy this as well. Maybe its just me but Cameron Diaz dressed like a tramp and getting soapy just doesn't do anything.. for me or for her. I really think she should either grow as a player or find roles that don't cast her as a hot slutty bitch because 2 out of 3 isn't cutting it.

Fast Five (2011)

5th installment in The Fast and The Furious franchise continues to live by the same motto that fast cars, hot bods, slick FX and a double shot of adrenaline never gets old. If the success of this 5 movie run is any indicator, you have to admit they are right. For those unfamiliar the formula goes something like this.. you take 2 characters on opposite ends of the scale (Laurel and Hardy), and you tie them together with a passion and skill (in this case fast cars and driving), sprinkle a hard luck story and gangsta notions of 'familia' (for street cred), top it off with sweaty scantily clad hard bodies (to bring them together) and voilà! instant box office. For anyone who likes it hard, fast, and sweaty this is aimed right at your... crotch... oO. Great mindless fun, 2 dimensional characters, semi witty urban dialogue, very cool cars, gadgets and slick FX, lots of destruction and chaos... hard to stuff a taco more full than this one. Recommended.